Unboxing and Review: HTC Droid Incredible Smartphone Let’s Add Even More Words LongAssName

Every photo from this unboxing/review appears to have been lost in the BKI site crash. Just imagine them instead.

Last week, I received this:

    Yes, an image went here.

As I was expecting it, I did not release the cyborg enhanced warhounds when the FedEx man pulled up outside the compound.

    This was another image.

Could the phone I was expecting be in such a nondescript box? It’s called the Incredible, is it not? Also, Droid is in the name. Should’t it be delivered by a team of robotic valkyries in a flaming chariot?

    Yep. Image.

Upon opening the box, I noticed a distinct lack of trumpets. No fanfare at all was to be heard, nor did a choir of angels begin to sing.

    Imagine it.

The box was, however, full of stuff. Which is good. If nothing but shitty packing material had been in there, that would have been a major fucking disappointment. If I receive a box, it best have something cool in it. Alternately, liquor is acceptable. At a bare minimum, if only packing material is discovered, a fuckton of bubble wrap had better be in evidence.

    IMAGE.

There was, in fact, some pretty good stuff in there. My phone. A car charger.

    This thread is useless without pics.
    Could have been worse.

Also, a bunch of fucking paperwork. Like anyone reads this crap. The real info about any cellphone plan you sign up for is only available on the website anyway, and took a team of demented lawyer apes to write.

    TITS OR GTFO?

Look! The phone! It was…a phone. Why the fuck do people do these unboxing things, anyway? It’s like the kids who open their presents on Christmas and spend all day playing with the box the shit came in. If they’re three years old, that’s kinda cute. When you’re 42, not so much.

    More pics.

Hot shit! It came with a battery! Who expected that one!

    Yeah. Pics.

Remove before use. I’d hate to be the Asian citizen paid 2 balls of rice and a nickel a day to put those stickers on. What kind of retards do you think he or she thinks we are? How do they think we make enough money to buy the phone if we’re that dumb?

    And…pics.

It’s totally a phone.

So, after that meticulous “unboxing” I threw all that cardboard shit in a corner and took my precious upstairs, plugged it in to charge, and flipped through the manual to make sure there was no self destruct button.

Then I turned it on, despite it saying I needed to fully charge the battery first. Yeah, whatever.

This phone is beautiful. I’ve played with iPhones before, and this thing beats the tar out of them, then uses the tar to waterproof its roof.

Snappy response, gorgeous screen, awesome sound. Android 2.1 is wicked good, the apps are awesome, the speech to text function is phenomenally better than I imagined.

The camera is incredimazing. The pics above were taken with my old feature phone, an LG enV2. It was serviceable.

Pics taken by this thing can be seen here:   House On The Rock Trip

I haven’t played much with the video camera, but I’ve been impressed with the little I’ve done so far.

If I could plug this thing directly into my head with a less than 50/50 chance of lobotomizing myself, I’d have done so already.

Here’s my app list: Click Me!

The apps work fantastically. The only app I’ve looked for on the Android app store and not found so far is some form of Bookworm. It could be I simply haven’t looked hard enough.

Turn by turn GPS navigation is easily as good as any GPS I’ve used. Plus, Google Street View on arrival!

The only downside I’ve seen so far is battery life. This thing sucks down battery power like ecstasy users suck down fruit juice. Still, with the car charger, I’m golden.

It made it through all 5 hours of use at House on the Rock, with about 200 pictures taken. It had to be plugeed in as soon as I got home, but it made it. On an average use day, if I’m not streaming music to it, and checking a zillion things every other minute, it makes it 8 hours without issue.

So, basically, if you need an extra brain in your pocket, and would prefer that it be shiny and cool, get one of these.

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~ by Benjamin Kenneally on May 7, 2010.

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